


Possibly

by kissperingniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissperingniall/pseuds/kissperingniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Niall have been best friends since their elementary years. The two couldn’t be any closer, except when a little incident happens and Niall goes a bit past the boundaries of friendship. When Harry realizes that he might be attracted to guys as well, things start to become a little awkward between the two. Enter Louis Tomlinson, the older, handsome tutor that might just take Harry from Niall, but not if he can’t help it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is rather old, but it got me started when Narry became my OTP. Hope you like it!

Sometimes I found that school was completely pointless. Even some of the subjects didn’t seem like I’d even put them to use in reality. Especially maths. Yes, I understood the point of adding and subtracting and all of the general things but to solve long equations and finding x was beginning to overwhelm me. Tossing the textbook to the floor, I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged at the curls, groaning in frustration. The librarian passed me a glance and shushed me but I ignored her.

Lifting my stare from the wooden table, my eyes met a pair of baby blues. The all too familiar orbs spoke, asking if I was all right. Shaking my head I gave the answer silently.

He got up from his seat two tables over, picked my algebra book up and made his way to me. Settling into the chair across from me he grinned, the small crookedness of his teeth screaming all sorts of cuteness. I knew that some girls made fun of him for it though, as to why, I’d never know.

"Having a bit of trouble with your maths?" he questioned and I nodded. "All right, lemme see which lesson you’re on," and he flipped the pages, skimming through the book till he found the bookmark. "Oh," his voice sounded a bit let down when he recognized which chapter I was on. "I can see why you’re frustrated. I hate trigonometric functions."

"Join the club." The blonde let out a little chuckle.

"Hey Harry, have you thought of getting a tutor?"

"Every tutor I’ve had has hit on me. Apparently they don’t particularly want to teach me anything about school." it was the truth but Niall still laughed as if it were a joke. 

"Do you remember that girl Kelsey?" Niall asked but didn’t leave any room for me to answer. "She followed you around like a little puppy."

Smirking at the memory of her I nodded. “It was rather flattering. Felt awful when I told her I couldn’t see her anymore.”

"I think I was more relieved than anything," Niall commented, leaning back in his chair and rested his head into his palms against the crown. He shut his eyes as he did this.

I lifted an eyebrow, “Really? Whys that?”

Opening one eye to look at me, he answered, “I missed ya, you were spending all of your time with a clingy girl and I had no time to spend with my best mate.”

A sudden drop of my heart and I melted. I’m not even sure why I was feeling suddenly like this but I was happy to know that he missed me. Smiling, I returned, “I missed you too, Nialler.”

He too smiled just as equally bright before standing up to come over and mess up my hair with a friendly noogie. “Niall stop it!” I hollered in the library and yet again the librarian shushed me but I couldn’t help it. Niall was persistent and kept going till it felt like my head was on fire like an Indian burn. He only stopped when the cranky old woman had decided to kick us out and banned us for a week. Well that was convenient. “Nice. Now I don’t have anywhere else to study.” I groaned, kicking the trashcan but it backfired on me as the contents were sickeningly sprawled about the floor. Niall grimaced, disgusted by the aging food and its rotting stench.

"I’m not cleaning that up," he remarked and pulled me down the hall quickly before anyone could see us. To be perfectly honest I didn’t want to clean that up either.

Making our way out to the courtyard of the school we stopped to catch our breath. Niall reached around his back and tugged his backpack in front of him, shuffling through it to pull a cold water bottle out and drank from it almost as if he were dehydrated. About halfway through the bottle he offered it over to me to which I took gratefully, gulping it down and appreciating the cooling sensation it gave my body. Just a random fact, I’m not a runner.

“What did you mean when you said that you didn’t have anywhere else to study?” Niall questioned and my eyes flicked to his and held the stare for quite some time.

"It’s been a bit chaotic at home. Gemma’s going off to uni pretty soon here and mums been stressing about her daughter leaving and I’m just sitting here wondering how I’m going to pass my classes. Because at this rate I’ll be a repeat or have to go through summer schooling and that’s not an option for me with wanting to start a band this summer." I explained to Niall but he still seemed a bit confused.

"A band? When were you going to tell me about it?" The look on his preciously Irish face appeared as if he’d been betrayed by not being informed.

I shrugged, thinking nothing of it. “I wasn’t even sure I would be able to get a band together before school was out for the summer. So in a way I didn’t want to get my hopes up for no reason, ya?” nodding, Niall understood, but made no word of it.

Instead he moved back to my studying problem. “So basically you have no peace and quiet at home so you come here to the library?”

I moved my head in a nod, “Exactly. But now I have nowhere else to go.”

"You could always study at my place if ye wanted to. We Irishmen may be a bit unorthodox but we try our hardest to help our mates out the best we can."

Passing a smile onto him, I replied, “Thanks Nialler that sounds like a wonderful offer.”

"Oh and not to mention the endless supply of food we have so you won’t go hungry either." he added as we started walking to what could’ve possibly been his house. It really wasn’t too much for him to offer to help me out with my lessons at his house.

Especially since we lived right across from one another.

• • •

We tried studying at Niall’s but with us always being preoccupied by random things that happened we never got much studying done. There was even one time that I was brave enough—I still don’t know where I got the courage to do this—to steal Niall’s treasured food. He retaliated violently.

He toppled on top of me and wrapped his arm around my neck, grappling with me harshly and forcing me to cough up the bite I’d taken. Hacking it up onto the wooden floor, he released me and I wheezed, caressing my throat to soothe the burning feeling of being choked. “Geez, didn’t mean to miff you off, mate,” I shot at him, turning myself around to lie flat on the floor underneath him. Our eyes met and he had a proud smirk on his face.

"Maybe next time you’ll know not to steal me food. I don’t take these things lightly." He explained shortly and I sighed, rolling my eyes before returning them back to Niall. Now his expression was softer and his smile had disappeared. 

"What?" I asked him, not understanding this sudden feeling sparking between us. He didn’t answer, just stared at me continuously. Those deep blue eyes delved into the inner most portion of my soul, and it felt like he could see all of the things I’d gone through, all of the times I had pranked Gemma or even did stupid things that got me hurt. This intensity between us was overwhelming and I wanted so badly to escape because my heart was racing at such an inhuman pace that I was almost certain that if have a heart attack.

Niall still didn’t say a word, instead, his face seemed to get closer and closer to mine and his eyes practically twinkled even though they appeared to be hazed over. I recognized this look; it was a look of lust and desire. What frightened me was not on how the Irishman was acting but how he possibly felt about me.

Inches from me, I attempted to stop him, calling out his name, and it worked. The blonde made quick work of getting the hell out of dodge and shuffled over to the bed in shock. “Wow, sorry Harry. That was…” he trailed. I could see the remembrance of his actions winding in his eyes like a film reel. I coughed, glancing over at a random object to the right of me.

"It’s fine. Don’t worry about it." I tried to comfort him subtly, but he didn’t take that as something he wanted me to be okay with. Yeah sure, my best friend almost kissed me but he didn’t do anything so it wasn’t much of a concern.

I just wish I knew why I had the convulsion to pull him down to my lips and engulf him hungrily. This was seriously scaring me out of my wits. Could I possibly like guys too?

"I think that maybe we should get you a new tutor because I have no idea what I’m doing here and don’t think I’m helping much." it was a cover up. While it may be true that he wasn’t doing much to help me, I knew that he freaked himself out. It was as plain as day sprawled across his face as he attempted to form intelligible words.

This was actually starting to piss me off. He was pushing me away because of something he tried to do. I felt insulted and it sucked more than words could describe.

I got up as calmly as I could, trying my hardest to conceal my anger. “Yeah you’re right. You kind of suck at teaching, Nialler.” I think he could tell that I was trying to cover up something but made like nothing was going on behind closed doors.

Nevertheless he let on a smile that could have passed for genuine. “I knew I was failing ye. So I guess I’ll let ya go and I’ll try to find another tutor for ya.” he quickly brushed off, a quick sigh of relief going throughout his body when he realized that he wouldn’t have to deal with me every moment of the day—or perhaps do a stunt like he almost did back there. Now I really felt rejected and it hurt way worse.

Gathering my things I nodded and said my goodbyes before heading out as quickly as I possibly could. Not even giving him a chance to say anything else in case he wanted to take it back. This royally sucked and I was even more frustrated at myself for even shedding a tear as I got home.

• • •

Not two days later, Niall came through with getting me a new tutor. He told me that after school my tutor would be at my house by three and told me to be prepared to learn since apparently he was two years older and harsh on students who slacked. I gulped at the threatening thought. “I just hope that he doesn’t bring out the good old chain and whip and teach me a thing or two.” I was joking of course but ever since the fiasco in his room the other day, he’d been really distant towards me and it was starting to get on my nerves. It’s not like I was the one that made a move but whatever. I guess it didn’t matter who did what, since as long as something almost happened it was reason to avoid me like the bloody plague.

I have yet to say anything to Niall about it.

Niall gave me a look that said he found that comment to be inappropriate and not funny in the slightest. Sighing, I readjusted the strap on my shoulder and headed towards home in anticipation of meeting my new tutor.

I just really hoped that Gemma and mum were a bit cooled down by now. They made me no promises.

Scaling the stairs up to my room, I instinctively dropped my bag next to my bookshelf and lay on my bed in exasperation, rubbing my hands over my face. An irritated groan grumbled from my throat as I tried to let my frustration with Niall out. He was being such a cowardly ninny and didn’t want to take responsibility for his actions. I thought it almost wrong for him to try to pin this on me. Which he wasn’t exactly doing but he might as well have been doing so.

Grasping one of my pillows, I threw it across the room and hit the wall next to the door right as someone’s head poked through it. The guy standing in my doorway tool a step back in surprise before allowing a sheepish grin to spread across his stunningly handsome face.

"Whoa, didn’t think you were going to have much of an issue with a new tutor but I can see that this might not have been a good idea." he started to say, and I could hear a bit of an accent originating from Doncaster in his unique voice. Sitting up in alarm I shook my head.

"Sorry bout that. I wasn’t meaning to—"

He chuckled slightly, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’ve made a commitment to this and plan on keeping it.” and he finally entered the room, settling into my desk chair with his binder in his lap. “So Harry, tell me which parts of maths you don’t understand.”

"All of it!" I exclaimed excitedly and he chuckled again.

"At least there’s some enthusiasm about you. I cannot tell you how much I despise students that are boring."

"You’re so kind," I quipped and he smiled again. "By the way, what’s your name?"

"Louis Tomlinson."


	2. Chapter 2

A week or so had passed by since I started tutoring with Louis. He was a really good teacher and to be frank I was surprised since he was extremely playful and childlike at times. He always got Gemma with a prank and cheered my mum up from a stressful day. Louis even made my stepdad crack up at his shenanigans which helped him to hang around more. It genuinely felt like Louis enjoyed my family’s company and that was a huge plus in my book.

I haven’t really seen Niall in a while. Except for school that is. Every time I try to talk to him about what happened that day he’d always change the subject and act like he was in a hurry to get somewhere. I got the hint. I’d basically lost my best friend because of something that neither of us understood. It was unfortunate and I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t shed a tear over it.

He’d think I didn’t notice but his bullies were getting worse without me around to deflect the insults. I always got made fun of for my curly hair and my baby face. I couldn’t help that I had a dimple that appeared whenever I smiled. It was a part of who I was and how I looked. And sometimes the insults would hurt but they were trying to hurt Niall and if this was how I could keep him from being bullied then I’d take it.

But he didn’t have me to deflect the insults and from distances I could see the exhaustion on his face. It was that rat bastard Zayn Malik and his group of misfits. The bad boy from Bradford never really said much to Niall but he didn’t do anything to stop the name calling and poking at the Irishman either. I’d step in and defend him but Niall didn’t seem to want me around to protect him anymore.

I seriously felt dissed.

• • •

Storming home, Gemma tried to stop me at the foot of the stairs but I brushed past her angrily, knocking my shoulder against hers. “H-Harry?! What’s with you?!”

“Oh piss off will ya?” I called over my shoulder, slamming the door loudly and raked my hands through my hair, the curls winding around my digits like strong coils. Looking to the clock it read 2:53p.m. Louis was going to be here pretty soon and at least I’d have something to keep my mind off of things.

Like clockwork, there was a knock at my bedroom door at three and eagerly, I opened it to allow the older boy inside. He grinned at me, the subtle gesture oddly making me feel light and cheerful for some reason. “So today I thought we’d focus a bit on lesson six. I want to make sure that you pass your midterm with at least a B.”

I had to hand it to him; he was getting on me every day with a new lesson and told me exactly what his game plan was. He really took this tutoring thing seriously. Part of me was relieved that Niall sucked so much that Louis had to replace him, but the other part made me miss that idiot blonde in more ways than I could count.

“Sounds like a plan,” I smiled and sat down on the floor, settling my textbook in my lap and readied a sheet of lined paper for notes and practice.

I couldn’t help but watch as Louis readied the lesson. He always looked so comfortable and handsome in his own shoes. I loved the way his blue eyes glimmered when the sun set in my room at five, and the way he smiled with them. My stare on him was relentless before I finally shook myself out of my reverie and came back to reality. Question was, why was I even thinking about Louis like this in the first place?

“No Harry that’s not right,” Louis pointed out as he leaned over my shoulder, hovering there casually. His fingers tickled my shoulder as he walked them to my notebook and led my eyes to where I’d made my mistake. The heat in my cheeks was apparent and I’d be surprised if he didn’t notice. In short, I was shocked because he hadn’t realized my nervousness.

I was still wondering why he made me feel so sheepish.

“Does that make sense now?” I nodded with a small smile. He made me forget about Niall and all of the things I’d been stressing over within the past few weeks.

He gave me a few more practice problems and I was starting to get the hang of this. As I solved the equations, I sang under my breath, not even paying attention to my surroundings. The room felt so comfortable and relaxed me.

After a while there, I felt lingering eyes on me and met those beautiful blue eyes. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

I shrugged. “It’s a bit of a hobby actually.”

“Are you sure? Because it sounds like you’ve been practicing for years.”

“Yea sure, chorus. But that’s it.”

He shoved me playfully. “Stop being so bashful and take the compliment you goof.”

Chuckling, I nodded and Louis patted my hand, but didn’t remove it. My heart was racing so fast and I didn’t understand why. Is this what it felt like to crush on a guy? Was I really gay?

• • •

Niall wasn’t in class today. The teacher told me that he had called out sick and asked me to bring his homework to him. Everyone knew that Niall and I were best friends—or were—so I was always the one that would be asked to take sick work home and vice versa. Sadly, my teacher hadn’t been informed of the latest development in our friendship and I was stuck with the hard decision of taking it to him or not.

Louis caught up with me after school, a merry smile on his face. “Hey Harry. How’d you do on your math test?”

I tucked Niall’s homework into my bag and shrugged. “I felt good about it, so I think I got at least a B.” I felt a bit nervous about Louis though. This feeling in the pit of my stomach was going to be the death of me. I just knew it. He jutted his thumb up towards me.

“Atta boy! See! A little bit of studying goes a long way.”

A smile spread across my face. “I wouldn’t say a little but definitely, yeah.”

He nodded. “Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow. I have to work after school today,” he said a bit solemnly, seeming a bit sad about not being able to tutor me. I was curious to know why but didn’t question him.

“No big deal. See you tomorrow,” I replied and he waved before heading to the parking lot for his car while I stood there and debated whether or not I’d see Niall tonight.

I’d feel like a total jerk if I didn’t give him his homework.

I guess I’d be paying Niall Horan a visit here shortly.

• • •

Knocking on the door, I anticipated him answering it, but his dad, Bobby opened the door wide and smiled down at me. “Ah, Harry. It’s been a while. How ya been?”

“I’ve been all right.” It was such a relief for Niall’s dad to be here instead of him. I don’t think I was ready to talk to Niall because he’s really been avoiding me like it was his life’s purpose. Passing his homework over to Bobby, he took it quietly. I started to turn away but he stopped me.

“Can you tell me what’s been going on between you two?” I didn’t answer him. I wasn’t sure about talking about the almost kiss we had to Niall’s dad. It hurt my heart just to think about it. Losing my best friend was probably the worst thing I was going through right now. Forget about the possibility that I’m gay. Forget about my crush on Louis Tomlinson. Forget about anything else because Niall meant the world to me ten times over. Bobby sighed, looking away from me solemnly. “It’s just… He hasn’t been acting like himself lately. I’m not sure what to do about him. He comes home with the worst attitude and shuts himself up in his room. He didn’t start acting like this until you stopped coming over.”

My heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach and then lurched forward painfully. Almost like my entire being was mixing up inside and wanted to burst like a bubble. This made me feel worse than I had before. Partially I was to blame but at the same time, so was Niall. He was the one that actually tried to kiss me and then acted like it was the worst thing in the world. He was the one avoiding me constantly. But I didn’t do anything to mend the friendship. I didn’t do anything to ask him how he was feeling.

I was the worst friend in the world it seemed.

I opened my mouth to answer but stopped when Niall made his appearance behind his father, his blue eyes shooting me a sharp leer that went straight to my soul.

There was a long pause between all three of us as Niall stood there wordlessly. His glare didn’t move from my eyes and mine only got softer. I just wanted to go past Bobby, pull the blonde into my arms and hug him, apologizing till no end but my feet didn’t move. I stood there just as silent as he and it felt like ages before anything was said.

“I’ll just leave you two to talk things through,” Bobby stated, and started to walk away even with my protest. Then it was only him and I in a quiet stare down, one that I knew I’d be losing. What was this random urge to want to cry? Was it because I knew that for some reason Niall hated me?

A million and one things were running through my mind but nothing came to mind to say to him. My heart was leaping miles and miles but nothing would get me any closer to Niall. The doorway I was standing in front of was the barrier between us and I couldn’t pass it. I didn’t dare pass it.

After several minutes of silence between us, one of us decided to speak up. Unfortunately it wasn’t me, and Niall didn’t have anything nice to say it seemed.

"So, how are things goin’ with Louis? Since you guys are so…" he narrowed his eyes and stared at me, "Close."

At first, I registered awe, and then hurt, but ultimately, I could hear the hint of jealousy laced in his voice. He was angry with me for being tutored by Louis and spending time with him when it was Niall himself that decided Louis would be a good tutor. That was the biggest load of hypocrisy I’d ever heard.

I didn’t say anything to antagonize him though, he’d hurt me enough and it was all I could do to fight back the threatening tears stored up. There was plenty of time to do that at home. Mustering up all the courage that I could, I retorted, “They’re fine. I just came over to bring you your homework. Good bye, Niall.”

“Whatever,” he growled, turning down the hallway and out of sight.

I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but I just stood in the doorway for a few more minutes before finally turning away, escaping to the only place where I could feel safe. My home.

• • •

After school the next day, I couldn’t wait to get home and get ready for Louis to come over. Yesterday was a bit hard to get through after Niall’s jab at me and I was still mad about it, but no one knew what had happened and I was going to keep it that way. On the way out of the school, I passed by Niall being surrounded by Zayn and his goons. Normally, I’d just continue forward ever since he stopped talking to me, but this time, I stopped and watched the scene unfold before my eyes.

“Hey little gay boy, wanna tell us what you did last night after Harry came over,” one of the bullies asked and my ears perked up. Is this what they were bullying him about? Were they that low of people to make jabs like that at others for being different? Is this why Niall was shunning me? People really had no lives whatsoever.

When he didn’t answer, the bully shoved him and asked the question again but in a threatening tone of voice. “Answer me gay boy!” I could see the tears in his eyes and it broke my heart. He was pinned to the wall, cowering against it. I moved to help him, but someone beat me to it. Suddenly, the bullies and Zayn were being pushed back by a Junior with Justin Bieber hair. His brown eyes narrowed at the bullies as he shouted at them to get out of here before he got a teacher. They all did as they were told before the Junior looked to Niall solemnly.

“Hey babe, you all right?” Was that a blush flourishing over his cheeks? I was taken aback. Niall was actually crushing on this guy. Who was he? And why did I feel protective over this situation?

Even still, I didn’t approach them. I just watched them, feeling like the most useless friend in the world. Fighting or not, I still cared about Niall’s safety and this time, I really wasn’t there to defend him. Maybe it was better if we weren’t friends anymore. Maybe he’d be safer without me since everyone thinks we’re dating.

Everyone thinks we’re dating.

That was something I didn’t think could happen until Niall tried to kiss me, now that thought was constantly on my mind and my biggest concern was, how in the hell would we be able to keep the friendship alive if we dated and ended up breaking up?


	3. Chapter 3

Louis always had this brightened aura around him that lit up my room every time he came over. Another week or so had passed by and Niall and I still hadn’t made up. The older boy had figured out that Niall and I was going through a rough patch in our friendship and decided to extend out a helping hand. I thought it strange that he wanted to help me figure out a way to get back into the Irishman’s good graces, but it was greatly appreciate, that’s for sure. So Louis was over non-stop, sometimes he’d tutor me, but mostly, he was there as a friend. My crush was only growing bigger because of this, but I didn’t say anything of it.

I wasn’t even sure that Louis liked guys in that way.

“I found out who that Junior is that saved Niall,” Louis announced one afternoon, barging through my bedroom door like he lived here.

“Who?”

“His name is Liam Payne, born August twenty-ninth, Virgo. He’s a fanatic of all the Toy Story movies and likes chocolate. The girls in his grade call him a puppy because sometimes he resembles one. Word is, he has a thing with a woman, six years his senior.”

My eyes enlarged at the hefty amount of information he dug up. “Wow, how’d you figure out all of this?”

“I have my sources,” he answered, smirking as he sat beside me on the bed. I stared at the floor and sighed, wondering why in the world I was feeling something close to jealousy over the situation.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I groaned, “I don’t understand. Ever since Liam saved Niall from Zayn and his buffoons, Niall has seriously been avoiding me like it’s his life goal. And this is worse than it was before.” Running frustrated hands through my hair, I wanted to rip it out, follicle by follicle because that’s how irritated this made me.

"Do you… Can I ask you something a bit personal?"

I nodded, eyes flicking up to Louis’ bright blue ones. All they did was remind me of Niall’s blue eyes. The only difference was the subtle hint of sunshine around the pupils that the blonde had and Louis didn’t. The situation was so serious and I just needed to hear his contagiously adorable laugh. Okay, why am I suddenly thinking about him?

"Are you jealous of Liam and Niall?" the question was relatively innocent but seemed to be so dangerous for me to even think about answering. I didn’t know what to say. I did feel a bit of envy towards them but Louis himself said that Liam was having a fling with an older woman so there’s no way he’d ever get with Niall, who as we speak was most likely questioning his sexuality like I have been for the past couple of weeks. I’m starting to grasp onto the idea that I am gay, but for me to be jealous of a guy Niall was interested in would be crazy.

Wouldn’t it?

"I’m not sure I can answer that question."

"Well why not?"

I shrugged slightly. “Because I’m not jealous,” I feigned but I could tell that he saw right through me.

"Today I saw Liam and Niall eating lunch together. All by themselves." Okay, now he was just messing with me.

But it was working. I was definitely feeling envious of the thought. I wanted to eat lunch with Niall again. I wanted to laugh about things again. I just wanted my friend back.

Louis got up from his seat on the bed and sighed deeply, clapping his hands together and pressed his thumbs against his lips. “I’ll tell you what, I’m throwing a party tonight and I want you to come.” my heart dropped to my stomach and I gulped.

"Really?"

"Yes, don’t act like you’re so surprised. Shut your mouth Hazza. Good boy. Don’t want to look like an animal for your future boyfriend." it took me a few moments to register that he was talking about Niall and not him. Instantly, I was on the defensive.

"He is not my future boyfriend," I growled, causing Louis to laugh for some reason. "What are you laughing for? This is serious."

"You really need to lighten up a bit." he advised, patting my back before leading me towards the hallway. "Now c’mon, let’s get you ready."

I’ll be honest. This was the first real high school party I been to and to say the least, I was extremely nervous. Not only because of Louis and his way of being extremely sexy yet adorable, but because of the whole scheme of things. I mean, this was a party that was basically decided at the last minute because Louis was planning something devilishly and refused to share any of those details with me. Slowly, people started filing into the rather large estate. The Tomlinson’s definitely knew how to live.

Getting here, Louis had to find a way to get his sisters out of the house and over at their friends’ houses. Oddly enough, they didn’t really want to go anywhere and I didn’t understand that concept. Hell if Gemma wanted me to leave the house I didn’t have any problems with it. Although, that was back when I had a friend that cared about me right across the street.

Sighing, I wanted to forget about Niall. Or at least try to move past the idea of him and me ever being friends again because it really seemed as if we were truly done for.

Something nudged my elbow and turning I saw Louis passing along a plastic cup filled with a substance I was nervous to drink. Beer. Not that I hadn’t drank it before but the effects it gave me were a bit… Much. I was frightened of me getting remotely drunk. Shaking my head, I rejected the drink, but he older boy wouldn’t have it. He handed the cup to a girl with light blonde hair and thick makeup before grappling with my arms and locked them behind my back. Grunting, I knew that there wasn’t anything I could do to get out of Louis’ death grip. “Thanks Perrie,” he murmured quickly.

Receiving the cup from Perrie, she tipped my head back and forced my mouth open to consume the substance. A crowd had formed around us and they we’re hooting at me to chug it. Submitting to the demands of Louis for me to swallow it, the crowd cheered in excitement when I returned from my victory over the alcohol. Its aftertaste was rather nasty and I couldn’t stop smacking my tongue to try and rid of the bitterness, to no avail. Louis wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave a thumbs up.

“You took that like a champ.”

“Sure,” I growled and he hissed.

“Oh c’mon Harold! Lighten up! How will anybody like you with that kind of attitude?”

Too bad that you’re too blind to see that I like you. I thought, thankful I could keep my feelings a secret. In spite of what I was thinking, I shrugged and reached for another beer. “If you want me to loosen up, then I suppose it’s not something too difficult to do.” And further decided to chug half the cup, then moved over to the stereo and cranked it up. “C’mon Lou! Let’s get crazy!”

His face dropped in awe towards me—I didn’t really blame him—and he joined me up by the stereo and started dancing with me, the both of us acting like fools and not even caring. Getting into the swing of things, I was genuinely enjoying myself and had almost lost my consciousness to the music when I caught the sight of bleach blonde appearing through the front door. Heart sinking and lungs deflating, I stopped all movement, alarming Louis to do the same.

Liam followed behind Niall and they scanned the party that had quickly filled up a good majority of the house. When he cracked a smile at something Liam said, I took quick notice that Niall’s teeth were adorned with braces that grabbed hold of my attention and held it firmly. Instinctively, I reached for Louis’ arm and pulled him to me and whispered into his ear, “Niall and Liam are here.”

“Yeah,” he looked to me knowingly. “I invited Liam and told him to bring anybody he wanted to.” I knew there was something fishy about him randomly throwing a party. Staring at him with daggers in my eyes, he cringed a bit but didn’t faze out of his expression too much. Grinning like a mad man, Louis hopped off of the coffee table and pulled me over to Niall and Liam. “Hey Liam, glad you could make it.” Turning to Niall he just smiled and waved. “Refreshments are in the kitchen and if you need to use the loo, it’s down the hall, second door on the left.”

Liam nodded and for a moment, Niall and I made brief eye contact to which I toasted my beer filled cup to before he walked away wordlessly. “Well that went well.”

Louis placed his hands on his hips like he were Superman. “Do not fear young one, the night is still young and we have yet to try and get your friend back.”

Smiling, I shook my head, following the older boy back to the middle of the massive living room and started dancing again.

About ten minutes later, Niall and Liam returned, only the blonde actually holding a cup filled with beer while Liam drank from a water bottle. Recognizing the look in Niall’s eyes that revealed his urge to dance, I almost grinned, but fought it back when he glanced my way. I didn’t move my stare. No, I wanted him to know that I was watching him because I wanted him back in my life so desperately that it was driving me crazy. Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl came on and Louis jumped up in excitement, pulling me back up onto the coffee table to dance with me. Surprisingly, he placed his hands on my hips and yanked them close to his, exerting a nervous feeling throughout my body.

“Umm…”

“Trust me, okay?” Louis requested, his blue eyes digging through mine and made their way to my soul. I did trust him, which is why it came so easy for me to go along with his body, dancing in such a tight proximity to each other while the music drummed throughout us. He gave a sideways glance and smiled. “Don’t look now but Niall is jealous.”

I wanted to look, but didn’t want to jinx it. All I did was nod as he moved his hands along my flank, slowly tugging my shirt up my torso before removing it. Thank goodness that I was already drunk because sober, there was no way that any of this would be happening.

Louis began to sing along with the lyrics and it was amusing me in all sorts of ways. Why did this guy have to be so hilariously adorable?

I could feel the death glares that Niall was shooting at us and decidedly grinned a bit. Daringly, I turned my head slightly and caught Niall’s eyes and locked them with mine. Analyzing them profusely, I could see the jealousy in them. I’m not sure I understood where the jealousy was coming from but this was a better expression than the cold blank stare he always had on whenever he was around me.

Why couldn’t a guy have his best friend back? I really didn’t understand it.

The moment that I was thinking about breaking away from Louis and wanted to head over to Niall to try and talk to him, a girl approached him with a wide smile. Her pink lips were glossy and her brown hair super straight. I recognized this girl. It was Kayla from maths, who just so happened to have a crush on Niall. I had no idea they were friends.

Ugh, what is this feeling in the pit of my stomach?

“Looks like you’ve got some competition with the opposite sex,” Louis remarked and I rolled my eyes.

“There’s no competition because I’m not competing for Niall’s heart, Lou.”

“You keep saying that, Harold, but I see the way you look at him. With those big green eyes of yours. They practically sparkle like a Twilight vampire in the sun!” He chortled obnoxiously for emphasis. “You can’t sit there and make me believe that you’re not feeling something that’s obviously there.”

Sighing, my shoulders slumped and I faced the older boy again. If only he knew that I was actually crushing on him instead. “Why must you insist on this? You’re trying to get me to date my best friend.”

“Yep.” Louis said proudly, not even having a slightest hint of guilt. “You two are cute together. There’s been quite a few of us who’ve been debating how long it’d take you two to get together.”

“How in the hell are the uni students putting in a bet about secondaries? Are you all just a lot of stalkers?”

Louis lifted his shoulders weightlessly. “Meh, we just get bored and look back at old yearbooks, remembering some of you babies when you were first starting out secondary school.” And with that, he poked the tip of my nose, creating a booping noise as he did. “You looked like such a girl when you were eleven.”

I winced back, giving him a glare, not giving him the satisfaction of a reply.

My eyes redirected back to Niall and Kayla. I just couldn’t distract myself from them and it left me nauseous. If Louis was right and this really was jealousy then I’m screwed. Falling for my best friend is the LAST thing I needed right now, especially since that friend doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.

She moved closer to him and he wrapped his thin arm around her shoulder, allowing the girl to nuzzle into him lovingly. I wanted to wretch. Louis glanced over to me and it’s like he could see the hurt in my eyes. His hand reached around my back and he gripped my shoulder lightly, silently telling me that he was here for me.

Niall’s blue eyes drowned out mine, then flicked back to Kayla’s giving her the attention she was craving. It was as if I was in a slow motion video. The party continued on without a clue and was distorted to my line of sight as I watched the scene before me play out torturously slow.

He was doing this to me on purpose, I could tell by the sly way he glanced at me, making sure that I was definitely paying close attention. As much as I wanted to pull away, I couldn’t. In fact, I wanted so badly to go over there and pull her away from him but my feet were frozen. Louis seemed to have halted all movement as he too, monitored the sight in the similar way I did. So many emotions flushed through me when his hand slid up her neck and caressed her cheek tenderly. Slowly, he leaned in towards her pink lips and the second they touched, my body was free from my metaphorical shackles. Darting through the crowd, I pushed Kayla out of the way, the girl falling into Liam’s arms, and shoved Niall against the wall, grappling with him. I overtook him and locked his wrists above his head to show him who was in control now. The fury rushing throughout my body was out of control and I couldn’t get a hold of it. I wanted so bad to deck his pretty mouth but decided against it.

Instead, I did something completely unexpected and kissed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Breathing him in, he tasted like beer and crisps, something that would normally disgust me but in this instance, it didn’t much matter to me. I just wanted to feel the touch of his lips against mine even more so than they were. And all the while, I couldn’t figure out why in the hell I was snogging with Niall when I was crushing on Louis. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t want to. I just wanted to continue this moment forever because this may be my only chance.

The shock sunk in when Niall didn’t push me away. In fact, he pulled me in deeper, using his lips to demand that I kiss him harder. I began to release my grip on him and freed his hands to do what they pleased, and pleased they were. Those slight hands traveled up my sides and paused as they reached the nape of my neck. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and massaged mine own, his moans vibrated between us and we were lost in the moment.

It seemed too surreal to me. None of this made sense but it felt so right with him. I loved Niall because he was my best friend but did I actually have feelings for him that stretched further than just friendship? I didn’t know the answer to that and it seemed I wouldn’t for a long while when suddenly, Niall separated himself from me and gave me a look of complete astonishment.

We were speechless, passing blank glances at each other and suddenly his cheeks turned a deep red that was darker than the reddest tomato. Before I comprehended what just fully went on between us, Niall was out the door, moving down the street faster than I could process it.

"Go! Don’t let him get away!" Louis commanded and without another thought, I did exactly what he demanded of me. I’d never run so fast in my life.

I spotted the blond quickly, finding him hunched over by a lonely tree on the edge of the sidewalk. His body was shaking, his head tucked in his knees, concealing his face that assuredly was filled with hot tears. I knew Niall too well sometimes.

"Would you stop running away from me?!" Startled, the Irishman jumped out of his cage and gazed up to me with drowned eyes. His cheeks were burning red and his lips pouty from the tears. Gasping for air, I leaned over, resting my hands against my knees to balance my body’s dead weight. "You keep running from all of your problems, Niall and nothing will ever get better."

"Oh that’s wonderful coming from the guy that completely outted me in front of the whole world."

I felt insulted to be honest. It truly seemed like Niall was scared to be attracted to guys. “That’s a real low blow, Niall. Really lets me know what kind of person you are.”

His expression grew angry; his ears turning red like his cheeks. “Oh really? What kind of person am I now?”

"One that’s too afraid to admit that he’s got it bad for someone of the same sex!" I practically squealed but I didn’t care. "You’re living in some sort of fantasy world where it’s not okay to be who you are and it sickens me. You’ve pushed me away because of something you did. I never once felt the need to block you out of my life because when I care about someone I really try to be there for them. But you only seem to care about yourself and what suits you the best. You never once considered my feelings in the matter,” he tried to interrupt but I wouldn’t allow him. This was my time to talk, not the other way around. I was determined to say what I needed so badly to say.

“I’m just as confused Niall. But at least I have the balls to actually admit that this is me. Now that kiss back there, you can’t sit there and tell me you didn’t feel anything. You just can’t. Because what just happened felt so right and nothing will change that. So maybe you still need to figure yourself out a bit but while you do that I’m going to be here. As your best friend and I will never leave your side. It’s time to start living life instead of running from it.” My words seemed to hit home as he took them in, slowly rising from the sidewalk solemnly.

He tucks his hands in his pockets, flicking his blue eyes up to me purposefully. “So what does all of this mean, Harry?”

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh you know damn well what I’m talking about. That kiss, Harry! What the fuck does that mean?!"

The blood in my veins began to boil and I didn’t know if it was because I was angry or embarrassed. To be frank, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure. I thought I liked Louis but it seemed as if I was liking Niall. The complexity of this situation was racking my brain. I didn’t know what to think about any of this.

I was so confused by it all.

"I don’t know," I answered shortly and the bleached blonde sighed irritably.

"We’ll whenever you figure out what it is, give me a call," and he went to shove past me, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. This created an expression of awe that not even I could comprehend what was going on. A few silent moments passed and I released my hold.

Turning away, my head bowed to the ground. “I’ll talk to you later…” With that, Niall rotated in the direction he was headed in before, leaving me all alone.

•••

"You’re so stupid! How could you just…" Louis ran his hands through his hair in frustration. I knew and understood why he was so irritated with me. But the fact remained that I was in no position to pursue Niall. Not when he was in the state he was. It almost seemed a bit oppressive if you asked me.

"You kissed him! You bloody kissed him and he didn’t even get the hint." Oh I think he did. That’s why he was still avoiding me. It was three days later and we were worse off than before. I really hated myself for throwing myself at him like that. It wasn’t warranted, but it did appear as if in some fashion he wanted it. 

I just wish that things had turned out differently is all. And that I didn’t have such confusion towards my best friend. Man I missed Niall like crazy.

"What do you even have to say for yourself?"

I shrugged. “Nothing… Lou I understand why you’re so angry at me but…”

He crouched down next to me, his face a clear three inches away from mine. “I’m not angry. I just… I don’t want you to be sad anymore. And I also want you to find happiness in being with someone else. I have that with Hannah so I want you to know what it feels like to love someone with everything you’ve got.”

His words sunk in but then it hit me like a bag of bricks. “Hannah?”

Louis nodded, a handsome smile on his face. “Yep, she’s my girlfriend. Been dating her for a while now and she’s the best.” I could feel my heart breaking. Although it appeared I liked Niall in more than a friendly sense, I did in fact have a crush on Louis, a big one that made this tough to swallow. I was happy for him of course but this was just too much for me right now. 

I had to get out of here.

•••

There’s this hill at the end of my street that overlooks Cheshire, the horizon appearing as if its engulfing the sun hungrily. Niall and I used to come here and eat ice cream as kids and as we got older we’d start to bring girls. Now it was a desolate area that looked as lonely as I felt. Sighing, I sat down on the edge, allowing my legs to dangle over the edge comfortably. I’m not sure dwelling on my thoughts was gonna be helpful for me but it was the only thing I had right now.

"Old habits die hard huh?" Shocked by the sudden voice behind me, I turned to recognize his face easily. In the orangey hue of the sunset the yellow in his irises stood out more than usual. It was almost mesmerizing. Surprisingly, even after days of ignoring me, he invited himself to sit next to me, resting his arm on his knee, not even paying attention to the setting sun. 

His eyes were only on me. 

"Yeah…" I responded, glancing away nervously and towards the ground.

"How did you know that you liked guys?" 

I smirked. “Well isn’t that a bit forward of you to say?”

Niall’s cheeks glowed red and I could feel my smile widen. “I’m just… Trying to figure this out.” Chuckling, I nodded.

"I understand." My eyes flicked up to meet his and they locked. "I think I realized it when I met Louis to be honest. Just everything about him appeared to be wonderful." Examining his expression, it was obvious he didn’t like the answer but I wasn’t finished. "But he has a girlfriend so that’s something that’ll never happen." Niall’s body visibly sighed in relief and I smiled again, nuzzling my grin into my lap as I brought my knees up. "That seemed to calm you some. Is there any particular reason?" His face flourished an even deeper red as he looked away nervously. This guy was seriously adorable. I could see why my heart wanted him. But would things work out between us if we were to ever date? I didn’t want to lose my best friend. 

I didn’t want to lose my Niall.

"Hey," I murmured, reaching my hand out to caress his and grabbed his attention. He looked astonished at the action but didn’t move away from my grasp. In fact, he allowed his fingers to link with mine and they fit perfectly, so much so that I just couldn’t shake the feelings I felt for him. My heart was racing so fast and I was almost certain he could hear it from where he sat. "I just want you to know that I want to be there for you. Whether that may be a friend or more it doesn’t matter to me, I just want you in my life, Nialler. I miss you." His braces glinted a bit from the dim lighting as a smile caressed his sweet face. 

"I miss you too Haz. I’m sorry for being such an arse. I was just…"

"Scared?" He nodded. "Me too. But all that matters is that we’re here now, spending this time together and looking towards the future not the past, right?"

"Right."

"Good." Slowly and a bit reluctantly I untwined our fingers as I stood from my spot. Niall glanced up at me expectantly. "Now let’s go get us some Nandos." He jumped up at the mention of his favorite restaurant, a massively happy grin spread across his face.

In that moment, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders and I felt like the happiest guy in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey! You better explain yourself buddy!" I heard the voracious roar of Louis Tomlinson from down the hall and froze, feeling the pricklies spread up my arms quick and terrified. Slowly turning around, I saw his hand linked with a girls, presumably Hannah, and his expression almost contorted in a way that said that I’m mad at you but in a comedic way. Approaching me, he snuffed his nose against my face and looked down to me. I was so short that I swear one day I’ll be taller than everybody. "You ditched me yesterday."

I shrugged. “I also made up with Niall.” The angered look on his face faded at that and was replaced with a too happy grin.

"So are you two gonna get it on?" My face began to burn at the thought. 

"No! Why would you say that?!" I defended, Niall and Liam walking up to us to join the party. 

"Say what?" Niall asked curiously his adorable blue eyes blinking innocently at me.

Glancing down at my feet, the embarrassment of Louis’ suggestive comment looming about me. “Nothing…”

Silently, he looked between Louis and I but decided to shrug wantonly, thinking nothing of it. “Are you ready for maths today?”

Groaning, I’d completely forgotten about the test today. I just hoped that I was prepared for this. Louis patted my back and smiled. “Don’t worry, you’ve got this.” I gave him a curt nod because after all, Louis did teach me better than that. 

•••

"Oh man… I definitely miffed that up," Niall sighed disappointedly, walking out if the classroom with a slump to his step. I wouldn’t rub it in that I felt great about the test. I was extremely grateful to Louis’ unorthodox teachings and how hard he pushed me. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be passing. 

"I’d offer to tutor you…" I trailed and Niall’s cheeks flushed a beat red hue. "But maybe that’d be a bad idea after all."

A pair of arms wrapped around mine and Niall’s necks and pushed our cheeks together. “Oh c’mon Hazza you two would be a lovely couple.”

"Says the worst matchmaker in the world." I quipped, letting a chuckle escape the blonde’s lips. 

"He’s not too bad of a matchmaker," Liam joined in as the four of us headed towards the cafeteria. I could practically hear the apocalypse happening inside Niall’s stomach. That boy needed food and he needed it fast. 

Passing along a group of boys, I recognized Zayn Malik’s black hair and the denim jacket he seemed to wear all the time. He was watching his goons bully yet another kid, completely distracted from us, something I was thankful for since I didn’t want to deal with his crap today. One of these days I was going to teach him a thing or two.

"One of these days, I’m gonna teach him a thing or two," Liam murmured as we made it passed them. My eyes diverted to the older boy. 

"I was literally just thinking that," I remarked and he passed me a genuine smile before it fell.

"I’m just so sickened by the bullying but I’m out numbered." Niall and I looked to each other and then to Liam. I could see the pain in Niall’s eyes and wanted so desperately to stop Zayn’s bullying. Even if he wasn’t actually performing the actions he oversaw it and didn’t do anything about it. That’s what alarmed me about it all. I wasn’t sure Zayn’s intentions but one of these days I’d develop the courage to. 

“Agreed,” I began, patting Liam’s back as I ushered him towards the cafeteria. “But until then let’s just focus on getting some food and making it through the rest of the day.” My eyes flicked back to Niall’s and a slight blush flushed across his cheeks. Strangely, after he got his braces on, he started to smile wider and brighter. For some reason Niall was beginning to gain the self-confidence he’s always been missing.

“What’s up?” Niall asked, brushing up against me playfully and I returned the smile he was beaming at me. Our hands brushed along each other’s and a sudden urge to reach out for his overcame me, my fingers slowly linking with his. We exchanged sheepish looks and pulled away the moment Louis wolf whistled at us. Turning around sharply, I sent him a death glare that made him giggle with excitement. I was starting to think that he was enjoying messing with me.

Finding a table outside, Niall sat next to me and Louis across from me. He was grinning like a fox and I was trying to pin him on his actions. That was almost impossible. Might as well confront him. “Can I help you?” Niall stifled a laugh, attempting to chew his food. Tapping his knee, the slight touch sent chills throughout my body that I wasn’t expecting. Looking at the bleached blonde he was feeling the same way.

Well that’s odd.

“Yes actually, you can help me.” Louis returned smartly, grinning from ear to ear and Liam’s brown eyes flashed between the three of us. The older boy could see the obvious contact between Niall and I and winked to us. “Seriously, when are you two going to get together?”

“Well isn’t that a bit forward of ye?” The Irish lad commented. A tight tension fell upon the table. “I mean, I’m just figuring things out and ya just all of a sudden want me to jump the gun and date me best friend?” His baby blues connected with mine and my heart melted. As much as I wanted this to work out between Niall and me, he had a point. We just made up and I didn’t want things to be screwed up between us.

Louis shrugged as if the remark didn’t faze him in the slightest. It really didn’t, because Louis Tomlinson didn’t have boundaries on what he asked his friends it seemed. Tell me why I liked this boy? “It’s just the sexual tension in the air is starting to annoy me. I think you two should just get it on already so we can all go forward.”

For whatever reason it may have been, that statement actually pissed me off.

Standing up from the table, I gave him a curt stare before exiting the group, storming back inside the school. I didn’t expect anything to come out of mine and Niall’s make up. In fact, I just wanted things to return to the way they were before, but with both of us mutually understanding we had an attraction to the same sex. Being in a relationship with my best friend was not something I wanted to take lightly. The thought of it thrilled and terrified me at the same time. With so much confusion about the idea, I don’t think it could ever work out and end well. I’d lost Niall once.

I wasn’t about to lose him again.

“Harold! How dare you just leave like that!” Louis hollered down the hallway and I sighed, rolling my eyes and turned to face him. He’d run after me, it appeared, and was leaning a thin arm against the lockers for leverage. “Wow I need to work out, I’m starting to get fat.” He quipped and I shook my head at his natural humor. I wasn’t about to encourage his ministrations. Scowling down at him I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay, you’re not laughing. So you really are mad at me aren’t ya?”

“What do you think?”

“I think that you should suck it up and just accept that you like Niall.”

“That’s interesting because last I checked there was someone else that I like, not that you’d ever notice.” Not even five seconds after letting that one out, I’d regretted it. Louis eyed me curiously, almost shocked that he didn’t notice.

“Who could you possibly like? All the signs point to Niall.”

Groaning, I dropped my hands to my sides before readjusting my curly hair. “Of course you’d think that. He’s my best friend, and we joke around but I’m not…”

“Don’t even deny that you’re into him. It’s so obvious you have feelings for him.”

Admittedly, I had to say he was partially right. Fighting with my feelings and confusion over Niall was what kept me up at night. Not that I’d ever tell Louis that. “Point is that you can’t control who I’m with or who I want to be with so stop trying.” He approached me, combatting my statements with fierce eyes.

“I’m sick and tired of you complaining about things Harold. You need to figure out how to be happy and if happiness comes from you being with someone then what’s stopping you?”

The fact that I like you.

“Nothing. I don’t need to be with someone to be happy.”

“Then what will make you happy?”

You would.

Shrugging, I answered his question silently.

“You don’t know? Oh c’mon Hazza. You’re miserable. You need to figure it out because I cannot stand to be around a depressed version of my best friend.”

Whatever caused me to react the way I did, I’m still not sure but I couldn’t contain anything anymore. It was time he knew how I really felt about him. So I did something I never thought I’d do and grabbed the collar of his shirt before closing the distance between our lips voraciously expressing my views towards him in the most intimate way I could’ve thought to. With the mentality of a sixteen year old that knew nothing about sex, kissing him passionately was the only way I knew.

Louis didn’t respond to me. In fact, he stood there completely frozen to the bone. I tried to get a positive reaction out of him, but he didn’t give me anything I could feed off of. Actually, I didn’t really feel anything from the kiss. It wasn’t like the heated emotions that were created when Niall and I kissed. Dejected, I pulled away from the older boy and there was nothing in his expression that told me how he was feeling. “Lou I—”

He put a hand up to stop me and moved away from me slightly, his hand brushing over his lips. Louis’ mind was whirling. I could see it in his eyes that he was more than confused. I knew that feeling so well by now.

“Please just—”

“No. Harry, I need to think this through. Give me a second.” Complying, I stepped away, giving him space to do just that. The silence between us ensued and it was becoming more than awkward at this point. I was scared that I’d just messed things up completely. I didn’t want to lose another friend, especially not one that helped me through things that no one else could. Oh man, why did I do that? Why am I so stupid?

When his blue orbs found mine after the longest silence of my life, I was terrified that he’d get angry with me but instead he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a comforting hug. “Harry, I love you, but you’re my best friend. I feel nothing romantic of the sort towards you and with as emotionless as that kiss felt…” Separating from me, he met my eyes softly and smiled genuinely. “It appears that you don’t feel anything for me romantically either, which brings me to my point. How did the kiss between Niall feel to you?”

Gulping nervously, he saw right through me and it scared me more than anything. How he could know me so well and so effortlessly. I guess I mistook my bond with him for something romantic. It made sense in so many ways now and cleared some things up for me. But thinking back to the kiss with Niall, it felt so natural and so passionately perfect that it was hard to place a single word to it. It was so many things at once. We fit together better than any girls I’d ever been with, but did it mean that he and I were meant to be together as more than friends? Could he and I ever truly go back to being two idiots having the time of their lives? Did one kiss change things completely?

“It made me feel so many things I’d never felt before.”

“And it felt right?”

“Completely.”

“Then there’s your answer.” Louis advised, placing his hand on my shoulder lightly, passing along a slight smile.

“What should I do, Lou?”

Pursing his lips to the side, he thought about it. “Hmm, good question. Should I approach him about it?”

A chill went throughout my body and I shook my head. “No. Please don’t talk to him about it.”

“Then you do it. Good luck bub,” he stated shortly, both of us heading back to join Niall and Liam.

•••

That Friday night, Niall and I went over to Liam’s to play video games and watch a movie. We were also spending the night so it was a big deal since Niall and I hadn’t slept over at each other’s house since the fight. I wasn’t sure if things between us would be awkward or not with us both being gay. It shouldn’t, Louis had said, but things were different. I couldn’t deny that we’d changed our ideals of each other, not that it was a bad thing, but it made our friendship different on so many levels.

Remembering Louis’ words the other day, I needed to figure out if I was to pursue my feelings or just let things stay as they were. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, and one that I probably should talk to Niall about either way.

Liam invited us in with his genuine smile placed across his handsome face as usual. Moving into the house, it was cozy and quaint inside, giving the atmosphere of a comfortable home. That was welcoming to me since I hadn’t felt very welcome at Niall’s house as of yet. Things had truly changed and I knew by now that they wouldn’t go back to the way they were. In a way, I was sort of relieved they wouldn’t.

“So the snacks are in the kitchen. Mum wants to keep the living room clean so if you get hungry we have to eat in there.”

“Well I guess you two should probably get something first before I eat the whole kitchen,” Niall advised and I chuckled, patting his back lightly but didn’t remove my hand immediately. It began to trail down—not that Niall seemed to mind, but I quickly pulled away when I realized what I was doing. Awkwardly, I wiped my hands off on my jeans and the blonde passed a soft glance to me, smiling slightly.

He whispered a short, “I didn’t mind,” before moving to the kitchen to fetch himself some grub. Stunned by his comment, I stood in the foyer for what seemed like decades then decided to join the others. Niall had already broke into the tortilla crisps, topping them off with loads of cheese, beans and beef before tossing the plate into the microwave and further stuffed his face with a couple of powdered doughnuts. Liam was grinning, shaking his head as he watched the Irish lad engorge himself with all sorts of foods.

“I don’t think we’ll ever get anything to eat,” I murmured, causing the older boy to laugh a bit.

“I think you’re right, maybe we should’ve eaten out?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, “We could always go do that now while he’s distracted.”

“I can hear ya.” He quipped behind the refrigerator door causing Liam and I to burst into laughter. Emerging from the sanctity of the fridge he grinned. “Are we gon’ play video games or are ye two gon’ sit around like idiots while I stuff me face?”

“Your Irish is showing,” I pointed out, stifling a laugh while moving to the living room and seated myself in front of a controller. Shortly after, Niall joined my side, smelling like he’d soaked in a vat of nachos. “Nialler, if you fart on me, I swear, I’ll kill you.”

He sucked a bit of sour cream off of his thumb, grinning at me with his eyes. “I make no promises.”

“Sick bastard.”

“All righty then~! Let’s get this party started!” Liam cheered, bringing in a few sodas and setting them on coasters in front of us. He turned the TV on and instantly I recognized the game we were about to play.

“Mario Kart?”

“Yep! I call Donkey Kong.”

“It’s DK, Liam,” Niall corrected, the blurted, “I choose Toad.”

They both turned to me and I sunk into my seat. “I kinda like being Daisy.”

Niall’s blue eyes narrowed and a sly smirk grew. “You would.”

Playfully, I shoved him and he shoved me back, then sat on me while lying face first on the couch before letting out a loud fart that instantly stunk the room up. I’d been exposed to Niall’s gas before but this seriously took the cake. Mine and Liam’s hands flew to our faces but unfortunately for me, Niall grabbed my hands and moved them away, forcing me to take in the toxic fumes. “Ah c’mon Niall! I’m dying here!” Liam didn’t do anything about it though. He just laughed through his nose, causing him to snort loudly, and in a chain reaction made Niall and I burst into hysterics.

Finally able to toss Niall off of me, I gripped my controller and started the game. “All right you losers, get ready for me to kick your bums.”

“You wish, Haz,” Niall returned, getting his game face on.

“Okay Styles, you’re forbidden from playing anymore games with us,” Liam commanded and I grinned.

“You’re just mad that I kicked your arse!” Liam’s cheeks went red from the comment and I smiled wider. Getting up from the couch, I blurted, “Okay, but I need to pee anyways.”

“First door on the right,” Liam instructed and I waved, heading down the hallway to do my business. Coming out of the bathroom, I stopped short when I heard the two talking kind of hushed.

“I’m not sure what t’ do Liam. I think I really… I think I really like Harry.” It was difficult to swallow the spit in my throat. I was shocked to say the least. Oddly enough, Liam was Niall’s equivalent of Louis to me. I thought that he liked Liam but I guess I was mistaken.

Liam was silent for a few moments and finally spoke up, “Then what do you think you should do?”

“I…” Niall sighed. Sneaking a peek around the corner, I could see how red his cheeks were. This must’ve been something that had been on his mind for as long as it’d been on mine. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to ruin the friendship. He’s my best friend. But… I can’t help the way I feel and what if we’re supposed to be with each other as more than friends? If I never go for it, I feel like I’d regret it…” he trailed and both Liam and I waited for him to continue. Pressing my hand to my chest, I realized how fast my heart was racing. This was thrilling me to know how Niall truly felt. The confusion I was having was similar to the confusion he was experiencing.

“I just don’t want something to happen to us and we didn’t want to have anything to do with each other. I’ve mess up our friendship once; I don’t want that to happen again.”

“I think you two would be able to work through things.” Liam said shortly. Strange how both him and Louis were all for Niall and I being with one another. “All I can say is to talk to him about it and see where things go. You don’t know how he’ll react, but with the way he held out for your friendship like that, he’d most likely understand on some sort of level.” He patted his back encouragingly. “Don’t worry, things will be okay.”

•••

Later that night, Niall and I lay out on the living room floor; Liam up on the couch was already passed out. I could tell that the blonde was still awake since I didn’t hear the usual soft snores from him when he was out cold. “Nialler?” I whispered, turning to face him.

Responding similarly to me, he hummed a small, “Hmm?”

“Can we talk about something?” I asked, feeling my body begin to get nervous. My fingers were starting to tingle and my stomach was churning uncomfortably. I must’ve really liked him to feel this scared to ask him about anything pertaining to us in a more platonic sense.

“Of course.”

Gulping, I murmured a soft, “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” he answered with no hesitation and I shut my eyes, thinking about my actions before I fell through with them. Opening my eyes, I found that he was a few inches closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath on me. “Do you trust me?”

“Always.”

“Good,” and it was as if we were on the same wavelength. He leaned in towards me, lips brushing lightly against mine before I relaxed to his touch, pressing my lips to his. The sensation was heated and comfortable, sending a million little sparks throughout my body that told me he was so right for me in a million ways I couldn’t even fathom describing. He was my best friend, but the things I felt for Niall were more than just a simple friendship, that’s for certain. My hand ventured to his neck, caressing and pulling him closer into the kiss. His hand moved along the flank of my torso and reached under the hem of my shirt to rest his cool palm along my warm skin. The touch was light but gave me a flourish of passionate emotions. Such intensity overwhelmed my body and I could tell that things were taking their natural course and it scared me.

Quickly I pulled away nervously and Niall chuckled lightly when he realized that I was more than excited about the kiss. “Oh Haz. Of course you would.”

“Hey, I can’t help it that you turn me on.” I stated short and embarrassedly. He combed his fingers through my soft coils and smiled. A few moments of silence passed over us before I managed a word. “Niall… Does this mean that…?”

“I think so…”

“And you’re all right with us being more than friends?”

“Completely. I’ve wanted you since the day I tried to kiss you; I was just too scared to admit it. The thought of you being more than just a friend terrified me.”

“Because you didn’t want anything to happen to it?”

“Exactly. But now I realize that there’s more to us than just friendship. You’re my best friend and I don’t think that anything could change this bond we already have, not even if we were to ever—” Quickly, I covered his mouth to interrupt his fateful thought.

“Rule number one, never talk like you doubt anything otherwise bad things will happen.” I told him and he nodded. “Rule number two,” I began, removing my hand and replaced it under his chin. “You better kiss me every day.”

Niall’s braces gleamed in the moonlight shining through the window as his lips curved upwards in a slight smile. “Deal,” he agreed, leaning in to my lips yet again.


End file.
